It All Starts With You

The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life is the one staring back from the glass. – Dale Wimbrow

I read this quote and it hit on something I have been talking about. No matter what you want it has to start with you. In order to move forward, you first need to convince yourself.

If you want a new job, you have to make the effort to look for one. That will require talking about yourself and if you don’t think you can do the job, people will hear that. Whether this is a promotion or a move to a new industry, you need to convince yourself first that you can do it.

I’ve managed many people in my career. Employees can always use coaching as there is never a shortage of new skills to learn. The one thing I’ve learned is that it doesn’t matter what I say, words of wisdom, or steps I outline. It has to start with you. You have to want to listen. If you tell me you want to move to the next level, I will work with you on how to get there. However, if you don’t believe you can do it or don’t choose to put in the effort, it just won’t happen. As I tell my kids:

If you say you can’t, then you will probably be right.

As a manager, it’s difficult to feel motivated to help others that want “cheap help.” They want someone to say nice words to them and then have something just magically happen for them. Unless you’re Harry Potter, chances are slim that you’ll get what you want.

At the same time, it is not rocket surgery. If you want a new job, hit a faster time in a race, or more time with family, chances are good someone has already achieved this. There are plenty of people in the world that can help you and all you need to find is one. Just ask them how they did it. You’ll hear about the steps they took, how long, and what obstacles they ran into.

When it came to my first ultramarathon, I had no idea what I was getting into. I was comfortable to the organization of a marathon … water/gatorade at aid stations every 2 miles and with a course along roads there was plenty of help should something go wrong. In the ultra world, you’re generally running through the woods hours away from help. Through Twitter though, I was able to find resources and information through strangers. People laid out what I would find at aid stations (a kid’s dream buffet!), what to carry, gear suggestions, and what could go wrong. While theory is nice, putting it into action is a different feeling. I went into the 50 mile race with excitement and seeing how the plan would play out. I felt like I tested every part of the plan. From the food, to the experience, to things going wrong, I had the full experience.

It comes back to starting with you. I would not have had the guts to register for an ultramarathon, get a new client, or speak in front of a large crowd had I not decided to. Once I convinced myself I could, I was able to efficiently gather knowledge on how to get it done.