Screw it.

Apex Trail Golden ColoradoI made the announcement to myself as I stood atop a mountain in Colorado. It was 7:23 in the morning as I watched the sun make itself known and could see deer roaming the side of a hill. Nobody else was on the trail.

Yeah, so screw it. The dilemma was, I wasn’t sure what I was referring to.

Was I talking about just going all out and running full steam back down the mountain?
Maybe it was to see how I would handle the icy trail from a recent snow storm. Possibly it was set a new speed record for climbing to the next trail marker. Make the most of the time I’m actually out on my feet.

Was I talking about how overloaded at work I am?
Some of that is self-created. I don’t know when it happened, but I’m not very good at watching people drop the ball and then leave the ball on the ground. Something inside me causes me to get involved. This has good and bad effects.

On the good side, I’m solving a problem which I love to do. There’s even the opportunity to learn something new in the process or connect with a new group of people. That makes me happy.

The flip side though, I paint myself into multiple jobs. Other busy people I know find themselves falling into this bucket. After all, if you want to get something done, give it to the busy person. They seem to find a way to get 3 times more done than the average person. However, you wake up one day only to find out you can’t meet your own expectations at everything, so you fail at everything.

Maybe I was talking about running in general?
Family including wife & 4 kids commitments, day job, and consulting. It is a lot and my running time has almost vanished. I won’t even go into the number of unanswered emails I have in my inbox from other family, friends, and readers of this blog. It irks me to no end that I can’t reply and do it all. At the same time though, running
is my therapy in life. It is much cheaper than medication and provides a greater reach of benefits. Over the past few months, I have only been running once a week, maybe twice for a total of 12 miles/week. Combine that reduction in miles and stress, I found myself with an extra 17 pounds to carry around.

A good friend suggested I take a year off from running because of life. Wait until the kids are a little older and things are more stable. Get work on track, figure out a better process for managing, and refresh the body.

Like the good listener I am, I signed up for a 100 mile ultramarathon run this September. It wasn’t out of spite, but more putting a stake in the ground that I’m not giving up. To be fair, he’s the one that introduced me to all of this.

With that goal looming out there, I’m left slipping into dark places because of the self-induced pressure as recited previously. I’m nowhere near the start of training I need to accomplish the goal. I have good days when I know that my mental training for completing a 100 mile run is spot on. Over the past 2 years, I have learned
there needs to be a focus on the physical training as well.

So when I say screw it, I believe I am referring to re-balancing life to allow for running. Work will see some changes and consulting time will be reduced. Family time will be increased with more activity to include them in the training. If you see me out and about, I’m probably going to look pretty blurry eyed at times.

That’s the look of a busy guy achieving success.

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