My Greatest Failure
Four days before the Leadville 100, I had this conversation with a friend:
JO: What’s your goal for this weekend?
Me: To finish.
JO: So anything else is a failure?
Me: Absolutely. Only goal is to get to the finish line.
Looking back, I gave the wrong answer. My goal was really to learn more about the 100 mile course. Saying that just because I didn’t get to the finish line would make the day a failure was just incorrect. Each run I go out on is practice. Practicing speed, nutrition, water, or trails so that I’m ready for unexpected situations on race day. Even with all of that practicing, something new will come up.
The key is to stay calm and look at the resources you have to find a solution. It may be a temporary or unorthodox solution, but it needs to get you through. Survival instinct if you will. Aid stations at ultras have duct tape … pop the blister, slap on some duct tape, and forget about it until the end of the race. In other words, slap on a solution until you have time to reflect on the best solution for future similar situations.
At the end of my day in Leadville, I was about giddy. Now, for those that made it to the halfway point and turned around to climb back over Hope Pass, they may think I’m giddy because I was able to stop. There was a point on the descent where that was true.
The reason I was smiling from ear-to-ear, was that I had finally found my line of possibility. It had been a long time since I had come within sight of that line. I’m not talking about perceived limits as that’s just when your brain gives in quickly. It’s the line where your body shuts down and physically does not allow you to move forward. I was able to rest for about 20 minutes at Hopeless Aid Station and then push myself over the Pass, but it was an out-of-body experience to say the least.
Now that I have seen my line of possibility, I am able to move it. The plans have already begun and the right team in place to get me through 100 miles at Leadville in 2013. Moving your limits and pushing past your line doesn’t have to be done alone. If you look around and find people that think your goal is crazy, then find new people. After all, the limits you think you have, may be a result of others holding you back.
On the way down the backside of Hope Pass, when it was clear that I would not be making the cutoff time, I received polite condolences from those on the ascent. I had a smile on my face and was content with the day. Each day my goal is to learn something new. On August 18th, 2012, I learned more then I could have imagined about myself, my wife, and my support system.
Even though I did not receive a buckle or cross the finish line, the day was a success. To call the day a failure would be an enormous insult to all of those that supported me. I know there are people that get annoyed with my posts about running, being healthy, and making a positive change, but as a result of my time in Leadville this year, I have heard from people I didn’t know were listening. This validates what I am doing and drives me forward. We all have a choice each day to decide how we are going to live. We choose how we will react to situations.
The result of ongoing success is how you react and learn from those mistakes them.
Make your own choice and move forward.
You quote: “I know there are people that get annoyed with my posts about running, being healthy, and making a positive change…” I know how this feels and for me, forget about them, I find they are ones unable to achieve the goals we have reached or want to reach, they are the ones holding themselves back from thier own goals and achievements. I love your posts, I read them everytime now, why, probably because I can relate to each and every run being fellow runner. I have 2 races planned at least this time home, a 26.2 and looking at 37.5 for my 36 birthday, and some lesser races thrown in, I will use “thoughts on the run” through each of these to help keep myself going and never say quit.
Thank you, that was just what I needed to hear today.